ok honestly right now i really need to vent ik i havent been on here in forever but right now idc but i will tell u what i do care about i care about a guy who is my whole world hes everything ive dreamed of and more and he leave in 27 days to go into the united states army and ik i shouldnt be sad but i not only because hes leave but because my parents forbidded me to love him 3 mounths ago and when he leaves idk if ill get to see him for 3 years but ik i will  write to him every chance i get and when i graduate and can leave to go to him i will and ill marrie him cuz honestly i love him fornow and forever and no one will stand in my way so intill i get to spend time with him ill fall asleep in his jacket and miss him because im never going to give up and neither is he i hope he is my everything and im his blue rose :)

my lifes going to the dogs :(

omg worset day of my life i woke up this morning late i didnt feeling good cuz im supost to start and i am bloted but thats not even the bad part i said something about being bloted and my mom told me i should go on a watter diet cuz im fat well she didnt say i was fat but hey she ment it she trys to convince me she has lost 200 pounds by drinking watter witch is a lie she didnt start loseing her weight intill she got on add meds then i got in the car this morning and she told me i looked like shit to go brush my hair so that sucked and i got to school and it all went down hill from there and 7th class came around i finaly got happy and laughting and i had to come home i got yelled at cuz my mom thinks im an imbarrasment and a worthless child ..... sometimes i wish i could just disappear cuz honestly i think my family spends there days trying to find things to hate about me i hope they dont come to my premotion seramony pule i have an f whitch ill get yelled at for and everything eles we went to wall mart and my brother was acting up and  i get yelled at cuz everything that goes wroung is always my freaking falt .......and then we went to go eat and mom picked a place i hate so i wasent going to eat plues im kinda doing that diet thing and she yelled and me and told me i better freaking eat or eles welll ughh sorry just a long day g2g dad wants to yell some more bye

your sad emo girl :'(

love

i love him i think well it feels like love but im not sure hes amazeing  when im with him i feel whole but then when we are away from eatch other i feel like ive  had a whole put in my heart and then i like him and i no i shouldnt be i do hes sweet charming and sencitive anyway my bf doesnt no me and i want him to im trying to talk to him and tell him things but he want tell me things about him its like hes keeping me out but i guess if he dont want me in i shouldnt push my luck but i guess thats y i find my self staying up late talking to the other for hes going throw the same things i am she wont let him touch her not even a hug i see his pain and i hate seeing him sad for he has made me feel so much better idk what to do then my other friend is finding him self with me in his heart yet hes in my soul i feel him there its like hes always been there ik him yet ive just meat him idk its crazy but then again my life is crazy isent it. but anyway enoffe about my drama tonight is about the true reason i came to blogg im stressed cuz i start collage in jan so i have to take the act the 23rd my grades cant drop below a b and idk what to do. sometimes i wonder y im so smart is it a curse or a blessing idk yet idk if ill ever no but intill i find out

your loveing emo girl <3

vacaton

hey its me again im on vactaion this time ya ik what ur thinkin y do u have ur computer on vacation but it was eather that or go insane u no.....this vacation is ok if it wasen tfor my cuzions tho id be deppressed worse then i am they have hung out wiff me when my dad and bro go hang out and my mom lays out wiff out them idk what i would do cuz id be all by my self my parents say we are leaveing tommorow idk y tho they are just jerks and dont get it we only got here yesterday ik i probly sound like im always complaining but i got to let it out somewhere or id go insane my ex who i might be still in love wiff not sure yet....i dont wannna b i dont think im kinda mad at him cuz he has a gf but he got all pissed off last night when me and an old ex of mine where jokeing around we wearnt even really flirting we dont like eatch other like that no more....my best guy friend i have a thing for and when he get high he tells me he likes me to and all this but when he comes back around he denis it so who no if its true or not then this other guy im takeing to i have liked for a while but i just now got the guts to tell him he likes me to but i dont think we will date one because he doesnt like haveing a gf and i  get that i mean if u no u cant be faithful y even try u no all u will do is hurt u or someone u care bout then my new friend is reayy cute he kinda look  like my bestfriend but he has a gf i think he has a thing for me tho cuz he was like geting me horny and stuff just cuz he knew he could and then there my best girl friends or my (wife for the summer lol inside joke) ex bf i kinda like hi mand he asked me to go streking wiff him i wont manly cuz my parents wont let me do anything it sucks bad but how can i stop it ya no but anyway what does it matter im kinda sleepy and prob bout to have a fight wiff my ex again so i guess ill write later

your depressed,confused,sleepy,horny,upset,loveing emogirl

pics i like

these are just some pics i really like :) love ur adorable emo girl :)

my paarents suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

u might be wondering y this is titled what it is bu it because im 99.99% sure my parents hate me why eles would they try so dang hard to ruin my life??? they refuse to let me go to my bfs house cuz im not 16...but when it was the  guy they had picked for me i went over there everyday almost.......but on top of that my mom thinks she nos every thing bout me and shes trying to tell me wat my feeling are about  when she wont even let me tell her them.....cuz being in a failing marriage for 16 years makes her the best dang person ever in love advice i mean it issent like she is perfect cuz i don't think sleeping with 3 different guys in bout 3 months is perfect explicitly when ur divorce has when throw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and now shes acting all freakin godly ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i cant stand her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  me and my dad barely talk so it issent like im geting anyhelp there :( i cant wait till im 18. oh not to Menuhin i woke up this morning to find something very important to me broken in half. the favortiseum between me and my bother is sooooooooooooo a pain in the butt the jerk gets almost anything he wants and says whatever he wants on top of that i cant stand any of this

 your sad hopeless emogirl :(

never been more confused EVER!!!!!!!!!!

My lifeis hard as u can tell but now its confuseing cuz i have a new bf and hes awesome inless we are fighting witch we do alot cuz i have alot of guy friensds he doesnt like at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but its ok one of my guy firends is really cute and i kinda wanna be wiff him but at the same time i love my bf and wanna stay wiff him even tho we have only been together 3 weeks and 2days :) im writeing this in my tect classs and its wierd cuz a guy i like is siting bhind me im just thankful the print is to small to be seen and his bestfriend is beside me but thats enoofe bout them:) i was unsure if i wanted to stay wiff my bf cuz theres a good chance my parents wont let me hang out cuz my mom found out we got in a fight and he yelled at me so now she says hes got alot of proveing to do.....i really wanna c him tho cuz summer is comeing in like 2 days and its going to suck if we dont get to hang out  if we dont ill have to hang out wiff some of my other guy friends one of the guys i like none of my friends like and they call him a man hoe but idc cuz hes not what they think hes really sweet but ..idk my friends bf told me he was in love wiff me the other day and idk wat to do bout that eather oh well idc cuz im not going to worrie bout it once school ends cuz i plain on geting a nice tan and spending most my time by my pool :) i think im going to stay wiff my bf :) even if we dont get along sometimes hes still awesome when he wants to be well ill blog again later the guy beside me is trying to read this lol :)